Practical Parenting: A Root Analysis of School Avoidance

Kids in Maryland are heading back to school next week or, in some counties, the day after Labor Day. As parents gear up to return to school, understanding and managing their child’s potential anxieties is crucial for a smooth transition.

Transitioning back to a structured routine can be particularly stressful for children with anxiety disorders, who may worry excessively about peer judgment and acceptance. Other common causes of school refusal or avoidance can range from fear of bullying to separation anxiety, especially in younger children. Understanding the root of the anxiety is crucial for addressing it effectively.

Christopher Kearney, chair of psychology at the University of Nevada Las Vegas and director of the UNLV Child School Refusal and Anxiety Disorders Clinic poses four questions to ask to help identify the underlying cause of the refusal and create a plan for addressing it.

1. What are they seeking relief from?
2. What are they avoiding?
3. What are they gaining?
4. What are the benefits?

Children who were bullied may fear a repeat of past traumas, while others may dread academic challenges due to undiagnosed learning disabilities. These anxieties can manifest physically, with symptoms like headaches and stomachaches, intensifying as the school year begins. It’s up to parents to present a balanced approach—neither dismissing the child’s fears nor overly accommodating them, which could reinforce avoidance behaviors.

Gradual adjustments, where children facing anxiety are gradually exposed to the source of their fear in controlled, incremental doses can be an effective tool. This approach can be tailored to the child’s specific needs, whether it’s slowly adjusting to being away from parents or getting used to the school environment itself. Enrolling the school is important for these types of anxieties.

Engaging with teachers, counselors, and other school staff can provide insights into a child’s behavior and potential triggers within the school environment. Furthermore, understanding the family dynamics at home, including any parental mental health issues, can offer a more comprehensive view of the child’s challenges.

Parental influence plays a significant role in how children cope with anxiety. Children often mirror their parents’ anxieties and emotional states. Therefore, parents need to be aware of their feelings and the signals they are sending to their children.

In the end, traditional schooling might not be for you, and that’s OK too. But trying these interventions first can help smooth transitions and anxieties. The goal is to ensure learning remains a joyous and enriching experience, tailored to the child’s needs.

By recognizing and validating children’s fears, gradually acclimating them to school settings, and collaborating with educational professionals, parents can help their children overcome anxiety and look forward to a productive school year.

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