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As parents, guiding our teens through the complexities of relationships is no small task. From navigating the early stages of friendship to learning about dating and consent, the teen years are crucial for building healthy relationship habits. This episode breaks down how parents can support their teens in developing respectful, safe, and healthy relationships. 

The teen years begin long before high school—middle school is when kids start experimenting with power dynamics in their friendships. It’s also when youth circle back to interact more with the opposite gender again. While kids tend to segregate into same-gender groups during elementary school, middle school marks the return of mixed-gender interactions, with group dating becoming more common and expected. 

Group activities like going to the movies or bowling are a safe way to explore these dynamics and set the stage for future one-on-one relationships. While some parents may feel wary about their tween “dating,” middle school group dating is a healthy precursor to later romantic relationships. The goal here is to teach kids the basics of interaction with the opposite sex within the safe space of a group dynamic. 

One of the most important lessons to impart as romantic relationships develop in the teen years is that young adults shouldn’t isolate themselves from their friends or social activities when they start to couple up. Teens often get caught up in the intensity of first loves, but parents can remind them maintaining strong friendships is just as important. 

Another critical point discussed is consent. Parents should teach their teens that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, communication, and the willingness to ask if something is okay with their partner. Modeling what healthy relationship dynamics and communication looks like, while also encouraging open discussions about physical and emotional boundaries, is essential for setting a healthy relationship foundation. 

Unfortunately, teen dating violence is all too common and can take various forms, including emotional manipulation, physical abuse, and coercion. If a teen becomes isolated, anxious, or shows signs of depression after spending time with their partner, it could be an early warning sign of an unhealthy relationship and should be addressed immediately. 

According to the CDC, one in 12 U.S. high school students experience physical or sexual abuse in a dating relationship. Teen dating violence is more prevalent in LGBTQ+ teens, especially transgender youth, who face higher rates of physical and psychological abuse. These numbers make it clear why parents need to stay vigilant and provide their teens with the tools to identify and avoid unhealthy relationships. 

Open communication is key when discussing dating with your teen. Use everyday moments—a movie, a commercial, or a casual conversation—to address relationship topics. Repetition is essential; teens need to hear information multiple times before it sticks, so don’t be discouraged if it feels like you’re having the same conversation over and over. 

Lastly, it’s important parents create a supportive environment for their teen to feel safe opening up, even if they don’t open up to you. If a teen seems closed off or defensive, it’s important to show unconditional love and reassure them you’re there to help, no matter what. 

Navigating teen dating can be overwhelming for both parents and teens. Recognizing the signs of unhealthy relationships early on and intervening when necessary, can help prevent long-term harm. By fostering healthy communication, setting clear boundaries, and teaching respect, parents can help their teens build a strong foundation for future relationships.

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Theresa T Nguyen, MD
Theresa T Nguyen, MD

Pediatrics

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